Ever since Caylee was born, I have not been back to work because I chose to be a stay home mom. I have to say that I have been struggling with this and it has been a difficult adjustment. Some moms wish that they could stay home, but for me, I missed the social life. There are several pros and cons. Good things about staying home is that I can be with Caylee and see the changes she is making, breastfeed, and not miss out on her growing up. The bad thing about staying home mom is that I'm with her 24 hours and she is starting to recogonize faces and cries when she realizes she is not with me.
I know I am complaining, but I don't want to sound selfish either. How can I make this adjustment? Anyone have a suggestion?
I really have mixed feelings. I truly want to stay home and be there for Caylee, but part of me still want to go back to work. Does anyone have this feeling, or is it just me? Maybe I just feel this way because Caylee is still young and I can't have real conversations with her... or maybe I need to have another one to keep me ocupied. Wait a minute... Never mind. I'm so used to doing mulitiple things at once I always feel like I need to be doing something.
You know, I might sound like I'm complaining (ok, I am complaining), but I am very grateful that I get to spend quality time with Caylee and be able to bond with her. I'm also grateful for Brad for working so hard so that I have the option to stay home. I can't ask for anthing more. He is a wonderful, hard working man and I love him so much.
Thanks for letting me get this out of my system. I feel a little better=)
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Hey Reiko,
Maybe you could join a Mommy and Me type of class once or twice a week. They have classes where you will be with other moms with babies round about Caylee's age and then while they grow they will learn socialization and you could even make a few new friends to 'adult talk' with. Just to get her out of her home enviroment and you as well.
I think all of those feelings are completely normal. It really is a hard transition. I think at some point we all want what we "can't have". I really believe if you went back to work you would miss her terribly and want to be a SAHM again. I'm with Stacy....try to find some social things to do with Caylee, and be sure to go out by yourself (to the mall or run errands) from time to time while Brad is home. You do need some Reiko time too.
I felt the same way when I had Kaiden. I had to work for the first 9 months, but then I went to part time and was with him a lot more. Being home was actually harder than working!!! I would say that it does get better the older they get. Once you can talk to her, play with her and take her more places it might change. Some things I did to help me were; join a gym where I could take Kaiden AND have my "me" time- it put us on a schedule too which was nice, started attending park days with other mommies (we are lucky to have a pretty good ward where there were people I could hang out with), and... I cant think of anything else. Oh, I did pick up reading which was pretty fun. My cousin joined a joggers group with other Moms in her town. THere are quite a few mommy activities if you know where to look for them. GOod luck with it!!
Okay, so here are a couple mommy exercise sites I found. I don't know if you are even interested in this stuff, but my cousin did the stroller strides thing and said both she and her kids loved it. I guess they sing to their kids and play with them while working out. I don't know, it might be worth a try....
http://www.seemommyrun.com/
http://www.strollerstrides.com/
Reiko-
Read Elder Ballard's talk from last conference - "Daughters of God." He directs it towards mothers, and it is very good. He also mentions that mothers need to make time to do their own thing, so they can rejuvinate & be even better mothers. I think everyone's suggestions are good, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with getting a part-time job again if that's what you need. Do what works for you - it's not selfish. Caylee (& Brad) are still your top priorities, and as long as you remember that, there's nothing wrong w/ having something that's just for you (work, hobby away from home, etc). Good luck.
Definitely what helped for me was going to playgroup and girl's night out with other moms! It helps when you have some social time (because let's face it, playgroup is really for the moms to hang out with their friends). It's definitely harder when you have a young baby, but getting outside everyday and talking with other adults makes such a huge difference.
Reiko, I feel the exact same way every day! I get quite bored at times, and feel like I need to be constantly doing something/anything! It helps when I can just leave Ezri and go out and do my own thing, whether it is just shopping alone, or for Thursday night Volleyball. Don't feel bad, I think it is perfectly normal. And to be honest the feeling probably won't go away, at least for me it hasn't and I just think about it more now that she is bigger. I keep thinking oh maybe I should go back to work, get a part time job. Lately my mind is stuck on wanting to just take a class for fun at BYU. And to be honest I would do one of those things if MJ didn't travel every week. I really miss socializing with my co-workers. So I just think of how much I appreciate MJ being the bread winner, and that I don't have to work. And I am glad for that, but it doesn't stop me from the way I feel. So just hang in there!
THanks for all the wonderful suggestions. You guys are the greatest!
I found this for the LA area...don't know how close you are to the different locations.
http://la.parentzone.com/parentresources.asp?prid=819
I was about to go crazy until I joined a mommy and me class. It was there that I met a couple of mommy friends who made all the difference in the world! Caylee isn't old enough for that kind of group yet, but there's got to be some sort of mommy-baby group. You're not the only lonely mom out there!!! If you could join a book club (if you've got a babysitter, I mean), that would be a fun way to meet others and share ideas. There's a Stroller Strides group here in Bakersfield and it seems to be a really positive group. Good luck with this! Keep us updated :}
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